Through The Peephole by Amanda Downs

Law and Order was going off, I watch it every week. I got up to turn off the T.V. when I heard a loud bump against the wall. It startled me at first then heard voices coming from outside. I looked through the peep hole in my door to see what was going on. I didn’t see anything at first and then I heard a female voice, “Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Don’t ever put your muthafuckin hands on me again!” When I realized what was going on I was suddenly 8 years old again. My heart started to race and I began to sweat. I started to feel helpless. Memories that I had buried so long ago started to resurface and I could see and hear every thing as clear as day. I felt like I was in the past and in the present at the same time.

I still was looking through the peep when I finally saw him. He was about six feet tall, light complexion, and very attractive. He stumbled past my door and dropped his bag. I heard the glass break and almost hid, forgetting that he could not see me watching them behind the door. “Ah-Hah,” sang the female voice in childish tone. Then I saw his face change so many expressions in about 3 seconds. First embarrassment, then anger, and then he looked confused like he wanted to do something and didn’t know what to do. Finally “I got it,” he thought and slung the broken glass towards her. “That’s alright,” he said “you clean it up bitch!” I could tell his actions were not natural to him the words came out of his mouth as if he was reading them and not really thinking of them on his own.

But the female was much sharper than him with her comebacks, “Gay muthafucka!” she said. “I fucked you, with your dick suckin ass,” he yelled back. This did not seem to offend or embarrass either of them as they continued arguing. By that time I could no longer see them through the peep hole he had gone down the stairs and she had followed him. I though maybe they would just curse each other out and it would be over. I turned off my living room lights and walked towards my bed room I passed by my daughters room and looked in on her to see if the noise had woken her but she was fast asleep undisturbed by the drama outside. I peeped through her bedroom window into the parking lot where they had gone I saw some clothes laying on the ground. I thought to myself that she had thrown his clothes at him or something. I could still hear voices but I couldn’t make out what they were saying, and I didn’t see him or her. Then I went out on the balcony where I could hear.

I opened the door and all I heard was moaning, loud moaning. I thought it was an animal but that didn’t make since it didn’t sound like a person. Then I saw the man who lived downstairs he was walking toward the clothes but I heard him say are you alright, and then he bent down over them. I squinted my eyes again. They were not just clothes, it was the female voice I had heard so sharp and full of fire just minutes before and now she was sprawled out on the concrete like a rag doll. Her small frame was barely visible under the baggy jogging pants and t-shirt that she had on, and her childish tone had turned into a gut wrenching wail. I stood on my balcony in shock not taking my eyes of the girl. My other neighbor was already on her balcony, she had been there the whole time. I heard her say, “He slammed that girl down on the concrete so hard,” she was talking to me but I didn’t look at her. I just stood there, the helpless feeling started to return. I prayed in my head, “Lord what should I do, what can I do.”

The man who lived downstairs yelled to his daughter, “Go get a towel.” His voice seemed to release my feet. Without thought I ran back into my house and got a towel and a blanket. I grabbed my keys and locked the door behind me. I ran down the three flights of stairs to the parking lot. I could see her lying on her stomach she had not stopped crying. Her boyfriend was gone and the neighbor from down stairs was calling the police. I put the towel down under her face and spread the blanket over her small body. She was barefoot and trembling. “Don’t try to move young lady,” said the man “You may have broken something.” I sat down on the ground beside her and tried to comfort her. “It’s going to be ok,” I said trying to sound confident. “God please help me please Lord help me,” she pleaded. I knew she was not talking to me, she was talking to God. Tears were streaming from both our faces now. I rubbed her back, “He will,” I said with confidence this time. “I’m hurting,” she said. I knew she was in pain physically but she was not talking about her injuries. I was fully immersed in my memories now. I could no longer hear her voice crying, it was my mothers. I cried with her. I wanted to say, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” I wanted to hug her and somehow magically fix her pain. But I just rubbed her back. By that time every person who lived in my apartment building was outside now. Some were crowed around like they were concerned, one man pretended to let his dog out to use the bathroom, others brought their children.

The police came; one officer walked up and shined his flash light in her face. The parking lot was well lit. “Mama, do you know who did this to you,” he said. “Yeah,” she said in a pitiful voice as she looked at him blindly. “Was it your boyfriend,” he asked. “Yeah,” she said again hesitantly. I was embarrassed for her and began to get angry. Why is he asking her this in front of every one? The other police man had gone into her apartment. He radioed his partner and said her 10 year old son was still in side. “Do you mean to tell me her son had to see all that fighting,” a neighbor said as her daughter darted in and out of the crowed. I rolled my eyes. No one replied so she said it again, “You mean to tell me her baby had to see all that.” “Yeah I know, it’s awful,” said another lady who had her 6 year old daughter outside with her. I stood behind the two neighbors until I saw them put her on the ambulance. I watched the six year old girl watching all the chaos and I wondered what she must have thought. I knew she was a smart little girl by talking to her occasionally when I would pass her on the steps. She just stood quietly beside her mother absorbing every thing. She looked so innocent with her little pink jacket on, and her blonde hair blowing in the cold wind. I remembered being her age and being terrified. Did she really understand? Would her mother explain it to her Maybe she was like I was at her age and had seen the same kind of seen dozens of times by then? I hope not. I picked up my blanket and towel and walked back to my apartment. I had nothing to offer the police and I didn’t want to stick around to hear the gossip. I had done all that I was supposed to do. My adrenaline had just started to go down, I felt sad for the girl but satisfied. I wasn’t helpless I was brave and proud. I went back into my apartment and looked in on my daughter. She was still asleep, innocent unaffected by the chaos that had taken place. I wished I could keep her that way innocent, at peace and unaffected by the chaos of the world.